Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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