The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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