I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Randomize