You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have already put on my inside pants.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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