Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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