we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
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We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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