i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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