Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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