just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize