Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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