please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize