Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
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I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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