That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
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