last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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