It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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