I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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