Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
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