True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize