So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
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Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
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I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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