Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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