I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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