Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
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I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching her eat just hurts me
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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