Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize