i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize