Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize