coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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