Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I want you more than these girls want KFC
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
