if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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