All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
You don't make any sense
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