pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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