Me. At least after what I've been through.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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