yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize