We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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