how can u be prego again
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize