i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
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But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
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I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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