It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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