Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
she told me i tasted like america
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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