I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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