So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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