help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So gin and wine won't be happening again
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize