i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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