you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
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