Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
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