While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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