This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Randomize
