we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
My feet surprised me
Randomize