don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
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