never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
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Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
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Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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