I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize