Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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