I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize