i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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